Friday, October 30, 2009


Ezra seems to have figured out that when I'm sitting at the computer, I'm a captive audience. Because every time I sit down, he magically appears with a question. For example, I sat the kids down with their lunch and opened the computer--yay, I'm going to check on a couple of blogs while the kids eat. And imediately:

EZRA: Mommy?

ME: What?

EZRA: Can I have more goldfish?

ME: Yes, but you have to eat your fish first.

EZRA: Now?

ME: You only ate one bite.

EZRA: But it's very hard to find things to eat when you're always telling me stuff.

ME: What? Never mind. Just eat your fish, okay?

EZRA: Okay... Mommy?

ME: Yes?

EZRA: What to red and yellow make?

ME: They make orange. See? (I hold up two Ikea kids' plates in front of the window and show him.)

EZRA: Oh. What do red and blue make?

ME: Purple. See?

EZRA: What do red and green make?

ME: Um, brown, I guess?

EZRA: Can you find a green plate and show me? And can I have more goldfish?

ME: You still need to eat your fish, honey.

EZRA: Mommy?

ME: Yes, dear?

EZRA: What does tan do?

ME: What do you mean, what does tan do?

EZRA: What happens if you stir it? What would it do? I like to know about what colors do. And why are some crackers crunchy? I like to eat them like this, slow. Mommy? What's inside wood?

At this point, I've stopped answering and am just grunting in his direction, because really? "What does tan do?" I don't even know how to start answering these questions! My kid is (clearly) brilliant, and I try to answer all his questions, often resorting to Google Images, my favorite thing. ("How do raisins get made?") But sometimes, I just have to nod and make random noises until his battery runs down and he's out of unanswerable questions, and we can just go find his red fireman hat, because tomorrow is Halloween.

Immediately after I wrote this, I turned around to check on Ezra, eating the slowest lunch of any person ever, and saw his hand covered in mustard. He's been repeatedly chastised for eating condiments instead of food, so I reminded him not to eat ketchup and mustard with his fingers, then put the two bottles away. He called to me from the table, "I won't do it anymore! I promise!" And I came back and told him it's okay, I'm not mad, I was just cleaning up. And he said, "Okay, but your eyes, they looked like this... like this... like this."  And he made a series of eye-rolling, face-scrunching expressions that caused me first to wonder if I actually look like that when I'm mad, and then to nearly dissolve on the floor with laughter. Literally from the day he was born, he has constantly surprised and challenged me. Sometimes he can get under my skin like no other person in the world. But Lord, I love that kid. He may be a challenge, but he is himself and will never, ever be anything else. And what a gift that is.


BabyonBored said...

i can't believe you didn't tell him the real answer to what tan does. It makes you look a hell of a lot better in a bathing suit! I'm here to help! And isn't mustard one of the four food groups?

Aunt Becky said...

Condiments are totally food. Just ask Alex.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm off to vomit up my breakfast after recalling how Alex ate ketchup instead of dinner last night.

Kami said...

There's nothing like the yearning to change your name that comes with "Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?" I wrote a similar post about this except I wasn't nearly as kind as you...check it out at:

Jasmine said...

Condiments are like a tier on the food pyramid.... gaw mom!

Christie - Childhood 101 said...

Don't you just love children and their neverending series of questions. Especially the 'why?' ones. I am actually looking forward to my 20 month old being able to say more than two syllables together though I know I will regret that statement in about 12 months time!

Maggie May said...

ack! mustard as food= yellow poop.

Sadie said...

"What does tan do?"
That's probably the best question I have heard in a long time. Ezra is awesome.

carrie said...

I thought you were going to say he was making orange w/the mustard and ketchup!

Kids and questions, no matter how silly - they go hand in hand!

Noelle said...

What an awesome little mind behind those clever questions.

My question to you is...what is it about a mom's butt making contact with the computer chair that makes kids start asking questions?! The second I sit down in front of the computer, my daughter gets all "Beam me up, Scotty" and materializes out of nowhere!