Monday, December 7, 2009

Aunt Becky Asks, I Answer

It seems that the only way to pull my head away from screaming children and overdue assignments is to offer me free stuff. I am all about the free stuff. So dear Aunt Becky (you know her, my dad's sister's husband's second cousin's married-in aunt's daughter--but we call her "Aunt" to be polite)* has posed this list of questions, promising a hefty prize of a super-awesome book for a random respondent. And since I am as random as they come, I figure I qualify!

Mommy Wants Vodka

1) Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?

I like everything on my ice cream. Peanut butter, chocolate, fruit, and probably bacon. Sprinkles are made of sugar and fun to look at. That means they are essentially perfect.

2) If you had to choose one word to banish from the English language, what would it be and why?
I'm tempted to go with "irregardlness," but that's my English major coming out. I have learned to accept that the language changes, however, and I have to go along with it. So I guess I'd go with something like "the," just to see the chaos and creativity that would result from having it removed.

3) If you were a flavor, what would it be?
Well, a friend once said I was like lime juice: I go with almost everything. (But in retrospect, that may have only been because we drank a lot, and lime juice does go with most alcohol. Turns out it doesn't work with all that much else.) But I'd say I'm more like vanilla: I seem boring, but I'm actually surprisingly delicious.

4) What’s the most pointless annoying chore you can think of that you do on a daily/weekly basis?
Taking out the garbage, especially the diapers. I am notorious for tossing bags of garbage out the back door, where they surprise my husband when he gets home from work. He likes to come in, all flustered, and announce that there's a menace roaming the neighborhood, leaving garbage bags of diapers on people's back porches. At least now that it's below freezing, they won't smell so bad when I forget them out there.

5) Of all the nicknames I’ve ever had in my life, Aunt Becky is the most widely known and probably my favorite. What’s your favorite nickname? (for yourself)
All my college friends called me Kendar--technically, Kendar, Knight of the Dark and Oblivious Abyss. Started as a misspelling in an email, and it stuck. Kendra doesn't really lend itself to nicknames (plus I'd never really belonged anywhere enough to warrant a nickname), so that one was really special to me. Only a few people know about it now.

6) You’re stuck on a desert island with the collective works of 5 (and only five) musical artists for the rest of your life. Who are they?
I really have to go with Arlo Guthrie and Pete Seeger first. I have a lot of their stuff and still haven't tired of singing out loud to their albums, after years and years of subjecting the kids to it. Plus on a desert island, no one would complain that they didn't want to hear that song again. Then I'd probably add Flight of the Conchords, because you need that kind of humor on a desert island. After that, maybe ABBA (because sometimes you're in that kind of a mood) and the Tragically Hip, because they're my husband's all-time favorite band, and if he were there, he'd want to hear them; and if he wasn't, I'd miss him, and they'd remind me of him.

7) Everything is better with bacon. True or false?
So true. See #1. Even ice cream is probably better with bacon. I've never gone so far as to put bacon bits on my ice cream, but now that I think about it, that sounds really good.

8 ) If I could go back in time and tell Young Aunt Becky one thing, it would be that out of chaos, order will emerge. Also: tutus go with everything. What would you tell young self?
No one is actually looking. I've spent so much of my life convinced that I was being judged by everyone. And the truth is, most people aren't noticing me. Some are, and some are judging. But they're judging everyone, not just me. And they can go to hell. Everyone else is too concerned about being judged themselves. I wish I'd figured that out sooner.

Those were surprisingly fun questions. I'd love to see anyone else's responses to them!

* My dad does not have a sister. But if he did, I bet Aunt Becky and I would totally be related.